The boy has returned home

well that was a hell of a ride... right on... I have returned to Colorado, my head filled with memories of the times shared, good music, success and defeat; my liver hurts, mostly due to the cha cha 1.50 PBR.
The objective was to mix a little work into play and a little play into work. work quickly got eliminated after the morning after quickly became later that afternoon which then became 'how about brokeback?' and then slipped into yet another round. I was able to catch up with all the good people from the southland, but unfortunately missed a few folk, which I am sad about... and for all those missed you are not forgotten, I raise my glass and would like to say 'cheers' and good tidings.
I did not leave unscathed, I did have to write a report listing my many experiences work related... which with a little creativity and imagination scraped together what appears to be something the boss won't only like, but will likely encourage me to do again. That being said, I don't like being put in a situation which forces me to be sneaky... at the same time, that’s what they get for making me do things I don't like to do... even though they do pay me to do those things.
I want a job where I don't have to be a sneak. A job which would allow me to socialize with really great people, much like all of you. drink beer or tea, but mostly beer. Read great books, watch movies, listen to great music... and where I travel but i don't pay to travel, they pay. that’s what I want... mostly a beer.

a few more items...
I was inspired by my friends homes...
The Gloyds- a humble little spot... sleek and new. shiny, comfy, great neighborhood.
The Simmons- cozy and small, but also very comfy; great neighborhood.
The Bethencourts- cool house, old and mysterious... super comfy with a kick ass yard.

which reminds me, I hate where i live... and I signed a year lease... makes me mad.
But mad turns into glad when I do a little research on the craigs list and realize that good times are not too far away and the few short months leading up to the big move I can begin saving for some furniture that I like. which make me really happy.

I am not from here...

It has been brought to my attention (and confirmed) that the correct way to spell Juanaco is Guanaco... But I've decided I don't give a shit... the misspelling is a tribute to my confused history and herritage, bottom line is I have no country, and I am not contained by these borders. I am of this world not in it... Damn, fucked that one up to.

This weekend=Fun.
tonight- the old dubbliner... Irish wiskey and maybe a guiness or two, great irish music.
Tomorrow -- Patriots at Denver, 1st playoff game ever...
Sunday -- weather permitting, fly fishing.

and next thursday... I return to the sun splashed land of southern california.

open door next right

Movie that should be rented or maybe netflixed, if thats your thing... good... intense... spoke of my home country in the era we lived there... Sad but good.

Next I watch the Wilco Movie... I am excited.

I am currently listening to Sufjan Stevens... Enjoying 'Illinois'.

Everyone in Colorado hits the mountains... 'hits': more snowboarding and less skiing... which is cool, and I anticipate I will enjoy the moments I will have to glide down that mountain... but its a few hundred dollar investment... one that I just am not quite ready to make... and people really dont understand me when I say I have no money to go skiing... Its not like they are rich either... but I guess they make sacrifices that I am unwilling to make... whiskey will not be cut out of the budget... I just thought that was understood, but people in Colorado are different. Their outdoorsy. Mountain folk. who do enjoy their occasional whiskey, but on a smaller in scale.


Last night I walked into my local coffee shop... I say hi to suzi and miranda and ask for my roiboos tea... I find myself a couch with a view and sit down with a new book: Tuesdays with Morrie... an inspirational read. I begin, the book is good... I look up and I see someone I recognize... its a girl. Hmmm, where do I know her from? the Christmas party, we exchanged some words at the party... damn... what was her name. she walks over. says 'hi dan'... I say. 'hey' we chat some... she gets a coffee and makes her way back to me... I remember her name 's-----'. We've never actually talked talked, only party talked... it ended up being quite nice, chatting next to a fire, comfy couch and a nice girl... shared some stories... Heard her story. cool girl, cute girl... suddenly I feel intimidated, she's got some cool things going for her, some cool stories... I don't compete, I just listen... Its getting a bit warm, too close to the fire, why does this happen? Damn, I think I am perspiring... what? who perspires??? shit... I try not to panic, but its too late, I feel the drops rolling down my face. I feel foolish. I excuse myself and head to the bathroom. I grab a handful of towels and wipe off my face. a little cold water. I stare at myself, trying to get it together... why does this happen? oh well... I compose myself, realize its no big deal... wash my hands and head out. I sit, she smiles, it begins again, rush of blood to the head, I breathe... I wait... it works, I have relaxed... our conversation finds its rhythm... and were off. Its late, I analyze... we don't have enough in common, she's too good for me... could I be happy??? I say, fuck it, lets give it a shot. I ask for her number... she smiles and gives it to me. She says she has to go meet some friends to watch 'the bachelor'... we hug, i say goodbye and think... ‘hell no, my chick isn't going to be watching no bachelor’... I slow down, she's not my chick... and its not that bad.

I go outside... take a smoke, I find myself happy. that was good... who knows what will happen, but that was good.

oh what a night.

Happy New Years... I love it, changing of the guard... away with the old and in with the new... Fresh start.
I decided that I will not have any New Year resolutions, mostly because I am just tired of failure, and well, I am just not ready to change. I will only slightly try and improve life...
.more intentional with work.
.read more books.
.watch less TV.
.persue integrity.
and the list could go on... I am not quiting smoking, or eating better. Those I will leave for a time when certainty=success.
New Years turned out to be a good time... though, I was a bit sad I didn't make it to the Jason Belt New Years extravaganza, I still managed to have fun. I have made some friends out here... pretty cool friends... We made it up to Denver, got a hotel right off 16th street, and proceeded to do some celebrating. several highlights,
1. Dancing with old ladies... super nice jazz club... of the classy sort... about 10 pm... the old ladies and I hit the floor and made all their old rich husbands jealous.
2. Denver tickertape celebration and fireworks.... and a really cute russian girl.... and well... a big happy new years was in order. out with '05 and in with '06.
And so to all of you... may it be a blessed 2006, live life to the fullest.

The fire within

Cash, the big fuck you, sentiments shared by most, and occasionally by me. It starts from deep within and claws its way out and before you know it the middle finger has found itself up, alone, shining for all to see... Pure emotion, rage, you can see it in his face. This reminds me of... Jason

less visual emotion, but it is still clear that the same rage burns within. He is clearly not happy to see the camera man, or clearly not happy that a few guys have taken his car out for a spin on a deathly hot day in the southern California desert... The excessive burst of emotion is often brought on by excessive consumption of ... What appears to be a 40 oz bottle of Miller's great
classic beverage: High Life. A tasty treat which can be consumed in a variety of places including; a tasty bbq, the occasional camping trip, perhaps just a fun get together with some buddies, the big game on Saturday... Whatever it might be, its a treat to enjoy with friends. Though we must monitor the heavy consumption of this beverage due to the unhealthy state of extreme drunkenness which is often put on display by none other than Jesse , who is one of the greatest drinking companions due to his great knowledge of all topics... One could discuss the arts, certainly sports and specifically baseball, literary works, musical theories, and life's philosophies...But one needs to take caution: baiting Jesse into a verbal or perhaps a physical confrontation can be quite dangerous, for he is certainly not afraid to put the fists up, or display his dislike by yelling perversities; this could cause some harm but has also proven to be quite entertaining... Physical altercations can also occur if baiting any of the following into confrontation: Drew, Allan, maybe Sycz, definitely Harbaugh, occasionally Billy, and we cannot forget Jason... Then there are those whom enjoy a peaceful time consuming beverages, those included Matt B, certainly Simmons (with the exception of one (1) outburst of passion and vigor) Andy, M.O.B., Brent, and Maust... Though there are certainly exceptions to this rule. I understand that there will be a bit of a reunion of sorts for the new year... I am unfortunately going to miss this get together due to lack of financial resources... This is a difficult reality to face but one I face nonetheless. I will be making a business trip mid-Jan and will have a few extra days to spend with friends and just visit the, as drew would say, sun-kissed land... Good day. I leave you with this wonderful photo of times together...

Thankful.

Thanksgiving break was amazing. I worked the first three days of last week. But the work was easy and not stressful. Which usually means I just put stuff off so next week will be stressful. but thats ok. Thanksgiving day was great. I ate a lot of great food. my sister's family and I went over to friends house and we hung out. It was cool. I met a whole new group of people, people who love God, but perhaps a bit more liberal than your typical colorado springs christian. which is extodinarily nice. My parents came into town. really nice. I bought a car. freaken awesome. 2002 nissan maxima. it rocks and rolls. it is rediculously nice, I got a great deal on it. and the Simmons came into town, we did the Denver thing. and then went bowling in Golden Colorado. Amazing. great times.

feels like 13 feels more like 8

I like blogs, I like my friends blogs, I will start a new blog, called el juanaco, which is what i am I am a juanaco, which is one born in el salvador, because I was born in el salvador i am called el juanaco. I am not sold out on it though, I thought long and hard and was left with that. and so I will stick with that. and thats ok with me.
Its cold today... really cold. I looked it up on weather.com and they said it was only 27, but their was fine print that said 'feels like 13', which is more like it. I just came back from my lunch break, which usually includes a quick sandwich, followed by a coffee, my ipod, a magazine perhaps a news or music magazine, and a couple quick cigarettes. an hours worth of goodness... keeps me going. Today I stood beside my car, and smoked about half my cigarette and quickly got back into my car. 'felt like 13' felt like 8. really cold. ice cold. my lunch was only 15 minutes long.
It is 2 pm and I am at work, There are days of lots of work and there are days of lots of computer play at work, Today is a computer play day. I will try and get some stuff done, after I get another cup of coffee... and maybe use the bathroom...